Winning Isn't Everything

Now that I find my days at Cranesbill Books dwindling, I'm officially in transition, but that's okay. Anywhere is better than the places I've been in since I last blogged.

On January 20, 2009, I thought that I would be nudging the bookstore along forever. On December 9, 2009, I'm only two days away from being an ex-retailer, having liquidated most of my stock and announced the impending finale over the past two months. It was a war of attrition: fewer sales, fewer items in stock, fewer staffers, fewer hopes of success, fewer plans for the future. When I add up the situation, there's no avoiding the conclusion that I did all I could.

In every way, this is not an isolated event. While everyone who visited the store knows that we tried to be a perfect bookstore; instead, we finally succumbed to a perfect storm. Other stores that I admired have recently fallen to the economy, to the relentless competition of both internet and bricks-and-mortar enterprises, and to a publishing industry that did not reward independence.

So now I am unemployed, unattached to any purposeful activity other than job hunting. Partly frightening and partly exhilarating, I negotiate job listings, hopeful signs of survival, personal fears, friendly suggestions, and encouragement from those who care enough to comment. I have years of experience; I work hard at whatever I do; I never assume that a problem cannot be solved. So somehow I believe that I will land on my feet.

Continuing to write here through this period in my life is one way to share my experience and to force myself to maintain a public voice. Because winning isn't everything, and defeat creates new paths and possibilities, I hope you will be interested in what I have to say.